i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
