would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
