So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
