Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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