they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
