the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
