I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize