i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
