dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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