AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
