you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
