if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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