Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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