and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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