Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
