I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
