you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
