She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
