I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think your dad took our porno
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
