I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
