Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
