Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
