I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
