before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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