do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
