addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
