Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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