that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize