is your mom at the bar?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
