just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
