Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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