We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
