Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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