He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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