You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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