ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
