hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
