It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize