I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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