so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
