Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
