You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize