You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
