Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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