i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
