One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize