You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
