The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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