Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
