So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Randomize
