so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
