my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize