Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
