It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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