i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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