hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's never too late to be topless.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
