It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
