I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize