Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
