Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize