Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
