stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize