big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
