Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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