Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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