listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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