I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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