Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
