Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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