Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
