You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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