The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
