I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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