my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
