Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
