# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
did i just pee glitter
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
