that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
